Self confidence is not something that holds me back, in fact I really appreciate the level of confidence I enjoy and feel that I can make the choices and decisions I want without a feeling of concern or over riding fear. That is not to say that I am always successful, but I realize that even by trying I am moving closer to a higher level of confidence. I did not always have a high level of self confidence. When I was younger, I had a lot of self confidence in my ability to do well in football and track, but my confidence in my ability to deal with life’s challenges was quite low. This was probably caused by a fear of not measuring up to my parent’s expectations and a little bit of social shyness. However, as I got older, I realized that my parents only wanted me to be healthy and to try my best at everything I did. As a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, I had a lot of social interaction with people from all walks of life and I lost most of my shyness. My job also required that I respond to all different kinds of situations. The more success I had, the more my self confidence rose. Self confidence or confidence in yourself means that you know that you can do whatever task you are faced with. This does not mean that you have to do every task by yourself. It means that the ones you know you can do by yourself you do and the ones where you need help you know how to find it. Confidence is a learned trait, not something you are born with. It is the force which pushes you forward and allows you to find the right path amidst the confusion and chaos of life. Confidence is the necessity you must have to assist you in realizing your dreams and goals. We all have the power of self confidence within us. Sadly many leave it unused for long periods of time while others use it sparingly like a miser. Forget about past worries and build the power of self confidence within you. Since you can’t change the mistakes of the past, don’t let them spoil the present or dim the future. The first thing that you must practice is “don’t hate yourself” before deciding to practice self confidence. It is very difficult to become self confident if you do not like yourself. Remember, just like everyone else, you were born into this world for a specific reason. Think about the things that you are good at doing. Work at becoming better at them. Don’t worry about the things that you are not very good at. As a very successful person I was talking to recently said, “Why spend your limited time here on earth working on things you are not good at. Instead perfect the things you are good at and hire someone to do the things you are not good at.” Mediocrity and poor performance are often due to low self confidence but it is not something you have to live with. You can build your self confidence by challenging yourself to take action and do something. Even though you feel as if you lack confidence, it doesn’t mean other people can tell. Building good self confidence is a wonderful thing, and it’s much easier than you’d imagine. One of the easiest ways of building self confidence is to “take baby steps.” What I mean by this is to set small goals or projects that you have to complete. Each time you do one in the time you have set for yourself, you will build your self confidence. The accumulation of small “victories” will convince your subconscious mind that you can do what you set out to do. It will then convince your conscious mind that you have a lot of capabilities and your self confidence will grow. If you continue to do this over a period of months, you will find that your self confidence becomes greatly improved. With improved self confidence you can take on bigger projects and goals and as these are completed your self confidence will grow by leaps and bounds. So what other techniques are available to anyone wishing to develop more self confidence? It should be no surprise to you when I tell you that the single most influential person on your self confidence is you, or more specifically, your mind. This probably sounds very basic but are you using your own thoughts to reenforce your self confidence and self esteem? Talk positively to yourself all the time. Become your own best friend and supporter. Encourage yourself to do more. Congratulate yourself on every small or large victory. Remember that very few people are successful the first time they try to do something. You didn’t ride a bike the first time you tried. Thomas Edison didn’t invent the light bulb on his first attempt either. It took him more than 10,000 attempts before he made the first successful light bulb and it only lasted a few minutes. The biggest thing to remember is that you are never defeated in doing anything you want to do until you quit. Donald Trump, during a recent interview, stated that he was richer than most people because he failed more times than most. However, in his case, he learned from his mistakes and tried again. Why? Because he was confident that he could do what he wanted to do if he just continued trying. You are no different from Donald Trump. Do what he did. Just keep trying until you succeed. When you do, your self confidence will soar and you will realize that you can do anything you want to as long as you continue trying. Another technique is to watch other people. When you see someone that stands upright and moves with a sense of purpose watch to see if they give you the impression that they have a lot of confidence. If they do, duplicate the physical characteristics of these confident people and you will start to gain the confidence they display. One thing that you must ensure that you do not do is listen to people who talk down to you or try to tell you that you cannot do something. Usually these people can’t do these things themselves, so they try to convince others that they can’t do them either. If something like this keeps happening to you, tune these people out and stop associating with them. Your inner confidence needs to be liberated from this constant barrage of negative thoughts and statements from the dream stealers around you. Your limitations are in your mind, not in your reality. Here are some tips for everyday practice. If you want to develop and build confidence, associate with positive uplifting people. Good people around you will help you build self confidence. If you want to build up your confidence, do something new every day. Each of these small acts will add to your confidence and also make your life more enjoyable. The most sacred thing in life is self confidence because it is the secret of all miracles. When you have confidence in yourself, you arouse everything that is stronger, greater and superior in you. In consequence, the more confidence you have in yourself, the more you will attain and accomplish. A person who knows the power of self confidence walks a path of inner growth and achievement. With self confidence a person of mediocre ability can achieve more in life than those with exceptional talents and little self confidence. Supreme self confidence is a birth right for every person so isn’t it about time you claimed yours?

This article is about some of the down sides to the winter months and how using a few mental tools you can not only survive but thrive through the dark, cold winter months. Research shows that there is a general increase in stress levels amongst the western population on the run up to the end of the year and through the first couple of months into the next. This time of year is also associated with increases in financial instability, increases in domestic disputes and mental health problems. There are many factors involved in this including the burden on time and money for the festive season, dark, cold winter months and being the time of year that people re-evaluate there lives. There are several ways a few simple ‘mind tools’ can help to ease this burden. The issue of stress is a complex one and I don’t intend this to be a complete answer all for the issues. I do know that by taking a few minutes a day to clear out the tension and relax can have a significant impact on stress levels. A simple self hypnosis trance induction that takes twenty minutes or less every day will significantly help. Just Google Self Hypnosis scripts and you will find hundreds of good ones along with instructions on how to use them. The net result of spending this time will mean more focus, more energy and drive to get everything you need done. Of course the clever thing here is to use the induction to train the unconscious element of your mind to be more effective. But more of that below. We are significantly impacted by sunlight and shorter daylight hours along with spending more time indoors. Again issues such as SAD and medical conditions are beyond the scope of this article, but by using creative visualization techniques you can have an impact on how you feel. A simple idea like visualizing yourself relaxing on a warm beach somewhere can take a lot of tension out of the day and bring you back to something like normality…but obviously there are some things we can do to increase the benefits still further. One issue that seems to come up regularly at the end of a year is that people re-evaluate what they have achieved and their goals for the coming year. The impact of this for many people is dissatisfaction over the last year and a feeling of nothing changing for the year ahead. Here self hypnosis and NLP techniques can really help. Your unconscious mind is the store house for all of your memories, emotions and habitual behavior. It is also where you keep your beliefs, values and identity. Using self hypnosis and NLP techniques you can draw a lot of these things into your conscious awareness and change them. The implications of this can be huge for example: Changing habits from nail biting, smoking or getting to the gym. Letting go of negative emotions like social anxiety, fear of failure and depressive states. Installing empowering ideas, beliefs and values such as self confidence, abundance thinking, the ability to grow your business / role / relationships By being able to let go of negative emotions around what you don’t want and increasing your motivation for what you do want you are creating a self propelling unconscious guided missile that is always driving you towards a better life. Imagine being able to do this in twenty minutes a day and taking as much effort on it as you would a cat nap. Now for the bad news, generally getting this level of proficiency takes training. Any good self hypnosis course will give you the tools, process and practice to be able to do this quickly and easily. These sorts of courses only take a couple of days and are a great investment of time and money. Think for a moment about all the stress and strain of life generally and consider the implications of not only surviving but thriving, growing and developing a better future just through a daily twenty minute cat nap…

Essentially, the word hypnosis is just another word for relaxation. Yes hypnosis is brought on by suggestion, but it’s that deep state of relaxation that qualifies hypnosis. I sometimes use the term creative relaxation. When I say that, I’m referring to the fact that it’s the use of hypnosis that I call therapy. I’ve always defined hypnosis as just what it is, an altered state of awareness through deep relaxation. Some people define relaxing as just taking time to read through a magazine or have a cup of tea. But really just changing activities is not relaxation. When you reach a state of total relaxation through hypnosis, you will see the difference. And it’s in this totally relaxed state that you can bring some balance back into your life. Some people call it recharging their batteries or use any other metaphoric term, but it all means the same thing. Real, deep, relaxation used daily or regularly has a terrific effect on all our internal systems, far beyond what a coffee break can do. As to the question of whether sleep is equivalent to relaxation, most of us know from experience that it is not. Experts even state that hypnosis, or deep relaxation, is actually more beneficial to the overall well-being than merely sleeping nightly. We know that sleep can be disturbed by stressful energies and that we can wake up feeling even less rested, less energized, than when we went to sleep. However a deliberately executed session in hypnosis, or relaxation, has you concentrating very pointedly on just that, relaxing. You lie very still, and you let only positive energy consume you. Essentially, when you practice self-hypnosis, you control the result by guiding the entire session. All hypnosis is based on total relaxation. This is certainly more beneficial than just going to sleep because you are tired. Power naps are useful in recharging as well, and addressing fatigue, but during deep relaxation or hypnosis, you are also creating the opportunity to reduce or alleviate a particular ailment through concentration. Sleep, whilst absolutely necessary, doesn’t allow this opportunity. If you spend ten or twenty minutes a day or several times a week, practicing self hypnosis, you are sure in a few short weeks to feel a difference in your life, to feel more balanced, and more relaxed, and more in tune physically, emotionally, and in every other way. There are probably hundred of ways you can achieve a deep state of relaxation, but they have one common element, which is deep breathing. It is a natural human occurrence that when you exhale, your body relaxes. This is a known fact, and a biological certainty. That’s why it’s the first thing that a medical professional will ask a patient to do when he wants his patient to relax. In any type of emergency or panic situation, the victim is always instructed to take deep breaths. This is intended to calm, or relax the individual. The more deeply you inhale, the more you will exhale, and therefore the more you will relax. So when we want to induce hypnosis, deep breathing is the first suggestion we make, typically because it starts to bring on relaxation. And when the person starts to relax and regulate their breathing, they will become gradually more relaxed. We know also that when we sleep, our breathing slows and settles into a quiet, deep rhythm. We seek to achieve the same thing in hypnotic induction, to slow the breathing rhythm, because slowing our breathing slows down our system, and helps to bring about a shift in awareness. We achieve this state by slowing a person’s breathing naturally and comfortably. Starting an induction with a few deep breaths immediately creates a shift, and sends the message to the person that now it’s time to relax. When you add concentration to the equation, you have a terrific recipe for hypnotic induction. Because concentrating on your breathing helps you become more aware of your internal experience. A person’s breathing pattern can often be a telling sign for a hypnotist that a subject has achieved a deep state of relaxation, and slipped into a state of hypnosis. In my hypnotherapy sessions I don’t impose any set technique to deep breathing. Whatever a person’s natural breathing method is what they should continue to do. There seems to be a typical pattern of breathing in through the nose, while exhaling out the mouth. If that’s the comfortable breathing technique fro someone, that’s perfect. If it’s in and out through the nose, that’s also fine. Whatever you are used to or whatever comes naturally. You can practice this on your own, at any time. Just concentrate on taking a few deep breaths, and you will feel your shoulders drop, and your heart rate will settle. This is relaxation and the basis of hypnosis.

Social Anxiety Disorder is a fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. People who have social anxiety often fear that they are being watched, judged, and evaluated by other people. It is often mistaken for shyness or low self-esteem. There are many different causes of social anxiety, however, the cause of social anxiety in some people simply cannot be explained. A common cause of social anxiety is a traumatic social experience. If a person is ‘picked on’ or made fun of during childhood, they are likely to develop social anxiety. Social Anxiety can even develop during adulthood, as a result of a traumatic social experience. Some researchers believe that adult onset social anxiety, due to a traumatic social experience, is the easiest social anxiety to treat, because the person simply needs to regain their self-confidence. This isn’t necessarily so for everyone. Another common cause of social anxiety is a learned response. If a child has parents who have social anxiety, there is a good chance that the child will learn to fear social situations as well. As children, we learn everything from the people who are around us the very most. Alternately, some people who have vivacious, outgoing parents develop social anxiety as a result. They have underlying fears that make them feel that they could never live up to the standard that their parents have set – so, instead of being outgoing, they withdraw, and develop social anxiety as a result. Furthermore, social anxiety can develop due to misleading or inaccurate information. For instance, if a girl is a tomboy as a child, and she is often discouraged from playing sports and climbing trees – while being encouraged to play with dolls, she could develop social anxiety. She would succumb to social pressure from friends and family members to ‘do what girls do, not what boys do.’ This could become a big problem as she grows up. Dating could become a problem, because she will not feel that she is not feminine, or ‘lady like’ enough for any boy to be interested in her – she likes sports after all. The thought process is totally inaccurate, but it is what she learned as a child. She would be confronted with the issue over and over as time goes by, and eventually, she would develop social anxiety – never feeling like she fits in, and always feeling like she is being judged. Researchers now also believe that social anxiety can be inherited genetically. Research has shown that identical twins, who share identical genes, experience similar social anxiety symptoms, while fraternal twins, who do not share identical genes, do not experience similar social anxiety symptoms. Research in this area is still ongoing. The causes of social anxiety vary from person to person. Often, the cause can be found through therapy. Therapists agree that once the underlying cause of social anxiety is found, most people are able to begin dealing with their social anxiety in effective, successful ways.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said – We become what we think about all day long. This couldn’t be any truer. What do you think about all day long? Who’s going to win on football on Sunday? Do you think about what you’re going wear to Sally’s party or who Nicole Richie is dating? If you think about trivial things all day long – Don’t be surprised if your life turns out trivial. You can’t think about ridiculous, trivial things all day and then once in a while when you’re in the mood say, “Oh yeah… and I really want to be successful.” According to Emerson – just start thinking about success all the time and it will soon come. Emerson fully understood the law of attraction. The law of attraction is the secret to all great successes. It says that you attract what you think about and focus on. You can start harnessing the power of the law of attraction today. I don’t care if you have the flu, you have two broken arms and 2 broken legs – there’s something you can do today that will make you successful before you know it. Start spending a lot of your day just thinking about success. Read and listen to every motivational program you can find. Start using visualization and filling your mind up with thoughts of success instead of worrying about what Jay-Lo and Britney are wearing. C’mon – if your mind is filled up with garbage most of the time, you’re going to become garbage! It’s as simple as that. Think about what you want long and hard enough and it will come – Action will follow. In the same way though – think about what you don’t want and it will come. If you sit around all day and think — I don’t want to end up poor, fat and sick, inevitably you’ll end up poor, fat and sick. The mind knows what you fill it up with. Even if your intention is to avoid something – if you think about it enough – it’s likely to end up in your life. So don’t think about negative things. Don’t think about what you don’t want or what you want to avoid. Think positively and only about what you want. Your thoughts become your reality. If you want an amzing life, you must think amazing thoughts. This is not some mystical nonsense. Quanum Physics has proven this to be an absolute fact. Our thoughts radically effect our reality. Try it out for a week. Can you do it for that long? For one week, I want you to be very careful about what you think about. Think big, think positive and know that you will get what you think about. Don’t let anyone distract you from this for this one week. Avoid negative people for this one week. Only think positive thoughts and dwell on what you want in your life and watch your life start to transform before your eyes.