What do butterflies have in common with the human spirit? Meet Maggie, a middle aged wife and mother who was about to find out. Maggie wasn’t rich like a millionaire or poor in a manner of being homeless. She was living an average comfortable life. It was made even better when a beautiful baby girl came her way. She and her husband made sure their daughter had her needs met and they were still able to take a yearly vacation by the beach. Maggie was a partner in her husband’s business. They both had a different set of duties which kept everything in balance. One day a devastating blow came to her husband’s business, and over a three year period the business dropped out of site. Her husband had to totally reinvent himself and was yearning to fulfill a dream with a new vocation. She was happy for him and supported him fully, but still the money was not coming in. Maggie began to feel guilty that she wasn’t contributing with any kind of income. It had been a long time since she had worked outside the home and had to work for someone else. Needless to say she was scared but still had faith that everything would be okay. She began job hunting and found filling out applications somewhat difficult, especially the part asking for job references. Keep in mind that she was self-employed with her husband for almost 20 years. It felt as though that didn’t count for anything as she was never called for an interview. At the time she was job hunting her mom became more ill than she had been and ended up in the hospital for a week. Once Maggie’s mom returned home she became her mom’s helper one day a week. She did the shopping, changed sheets, vacuumed and did other things that her mother was not able to do anymore. Of course her mom would pay her for her time and labor but she still felt she needed to find another source of income. One of the first applications she had filled out finally came through. She passed the interview with flying colors and was told she was “exactly” what they were looking for. Although it was only part time it was exactly what she wanted. It was important for her to be home when her daughter arrived home from school. She was told they would be in touch when the schedule was ready. Knowing she had the job made her feel contented and productive again. Within a few weeks though, she received an e-mail saying that the company had changed the job into a full time position and she was not qualified. Maggie was devastated. She felt betrayed and felt she had been lied to. That evening she was alone as her husband and daughter had gone out for the night. She welcomed the aloneness and wanted to drown her sorrows in a hot tub of bubbles. As she knew she would, she began to cry, softly at first just from the sheer pain of being rejected. Three long years of struggle had finally caught up with her. Then she became angry; angry at everything from the circumstances that got her there, to God himself. She cried harder and yelled, “What do you want me to do?” She really felt that God had abandoned her. When she was able to cry no more, she became exhausted and gave up. It was at that moment that a silent idea came to her to offer other elderly people home care assistance. Using another talent for computers she printed off some flyers and cards and distributed them to her church, grocery stores and even placed a small ad in the newspaper. Within a week she had procured two new clients. Now, even though she’s not a CEO of a major company or a power player she feels happy and productive again. So, had God really abandoned her? Let’s look at nature for the lessons and the answer. Before a butterfly can emerge out of it’s chrysalis it has to go through a lot of struggling. Yes, struggling. Each time it lunges out to escape, acids are being removed from its wings. If someone were to come along and break the chrysalis open for it then the butterfly would die from those acids. In essence the struggle is necessary for the butterfly to survive. Then in the stillness, when the struggle is over, the butterfly can come out and share its beauty with the world. We as humans are not any different. There are times that we need to struggle, to rid ourselves of the acids that make up sadness, fear, and anger. It is only at this time when we are exhausted and still that we begin to hear the Universe whisper to us. © Tony Masiello 2006

A useful tool when setting your goals as mentioned in The Secret by John Assaraf is the creation of what is known by three different names: dreamboard, vision board, or treasure map. Creating a vision board, dreamboard or treasure map could not be simpler if you only know precisely what it is that you really really want and are willing to make the effort. So once you have a list of goals which you have written down you can start is to create your dreamboard. Let’s say you have 10 goals written down in an appropriate format. One way to create goals is to use the S.M.A.R.T. method. S.M.A.R.T. stands for: specific; measurable; attainable; realistic; time bound. These are rules to stick by when setting your goals, ie make sure the goal you set yourself adheres to those 5 criteria. It’s now time for you to find pictures, words, affirmations, prayers, photographs, cartoons, maps that represent to you your goals. It is also important that you find photographs of yourself in which you are in positive, optimistic, happy states. You will be sticking these pictures etc. on to your dreamboard, which is like a kind of collage of your goals and aspirations. It is important that you find these photographs of yourself because you will be placing yourself in the vision board hopefully doing the things that you really want to do, have, be and achieve. There are two ways that you can actually make the board. One way is to have a piece of backing card or backing paper and stick the pictures photographs etc on to that backing paper, or you can use of a software which allows you to find pictures on the Internet or on your computer and creates a board to you to print. So after you have the photographs of yourself and you found pictures, photographs and some words and affirmations that supports you to achieve your goals, you can put together a sort of collage which shows a visualization not only of your goals, but of you yourself achieving your goals. This can not only be inspiring, it can be fun and exciting, too. Each time that you look at your vision board or if you want to call it a treasure map or a dreamboard, and you activate your imagination to really see yourself achieving your goals, allow yourself to get into and enjoy the feelings of actually living out your goals in your mind, realistically, as if it is happening now and thinking about and imagining what is kinds of things you will be hearing on the outside , externally as well as the kinds of things you would be saying to yourself: i.e. positive self talk, you will be powerfully programming your subconscious mind to take you effortlessly to the full and complete realization of the goals that you set yourself. It’s important that you do not allow your dreamboard to sit around gathering dust. Rather, the daily study, the daily practice, the daily discipline of going back to your dreamboard, having it in a place where you will see it at least twice per day, for example, on your dressing table or above or beside your bathroom mirror, will help you to realize your goals much faster, with less effort and in positive, empowering ways. In the author’s own experience whilst you will feel very inspired, empowered, even highly motivated and with a new sense of self belief about what is possible, not pursuing this daily exercise of using your imagination to help you and your unconscious mind to focus on the achievement of your goals is unwise. In summary, make a list of your goals: make them S.M.A.R.T., go out and find magazine pictures, photographs — including of yourself — and design empowering affirmations, words or prayers that remind you in verbal format of what you are trying to achieve. Put yourself into a collage using what you have found and you have a dreamboard on your hands. The fun part and the part that is most left out of teaching about dreamboards is the vision part or as the author has heard it said by wealth mentor Leslie Fieger, “Imagineering”, because it encompasses not only visual imagining, but tricking the mind into believing that the goal you want to achieve is actually being achieved right now, in this moment. This should be done daily and each time should feel terrific, as you experience yourself actually achieving your goals as a very “real” imaginary experience. So, allow yourself to have fun and enjoy the process of designing new life experiences that will enable you to have your dreams come true.

Going to a Catholic Grammar School for 9 years had its benefits. We had to wear uniforms so there wasn’t any clothes competition, we went to church all the time so we got some formal spiritual training, you couldn’t even think of using profanity because you thought the nuns read your mind and would find out what you were thinking, we learned good penmanship, we were respectful, compliant, and responsible. The crazy thing is no one gave me a choice in any of these areas I was forced to do them. It wasn’t like the nun said to me you can go to church if you like, or why don’t you try to hold your pencil this way, or is that the way to speak to someone? If I didn’t do it the way it was supposed to be done there would be blood stains on the floor, and it wasn’t Jesus’ it was mine. As I look back at this experience the one thing that I realize is that this type of education taught me something that no one talks about today and that’s self-control. The majority of the problems that a person faces in their life are related to a lack of self-control. Everybody either eats too much, drinks too much, spends too much, can’t control their temper, lusts after things that they can’t have like someone else’s spouse, and develops habits that they can’t break that could kill them or someone else like smoking or driving too fast. Now why does this stuff happen? Well I never remember my parents or any teacher in my life saying to me the choice is yours you can smoke or not, or you can lose your temper or not, or you can overeat or not. Self-control is taught. If I did something that exhibited a lack of self-control I got grabbed by someone and got reamed out or in the worst case scenario got clobbered. I was taught to wait on line, raise my hand, take my time, practice until I got it right, memorize, and I got drilled on skills that everyone knew were necessary for life long success. Look musicians practice endless hours to perform a single piece of music. Students study instead of watch TV. Athletes devote years of their lives to prepare for an Olympic event that may last only a few minutes. The concepts of self-control, delayed gratification and discipline seem so counter to our cultural values. We use our credit cards because we want things right away. We become impatient if we wait more than a few moments at a drive-through at McDonalds. We eat ourselves into obesity and poor health because it feels good, with little consideration of the long-term consequences. Self-control should be graded in school and looked at as a quality necessary for success as an adult. If you or someone you know is having trouble with self-control I have a good friend named Sister Houlihan who still thinks self-control is important. She is 4 feet 8 inches tall and she can still make a grown man hold his pencil the right way.

When you have ADD, one thing you’re probably not great at is keeping your living space together. You might have piles of stuff everywhere, including laundry, which is all over the floor of the bedroom. We know what we need to do, but just can bring ourselves to do stuff that’s boring. Looking around at the mess can get a little depressing. Just remember that you’re not the only one with these issues. All ADD people have the same stuff to deal with. We just hate being bored, and cleaning and straightening bore us to death. That’s just how it is. There are so many more interesting and fun things to do in life that we just don’t worry about that kind of thing, but we really do want more ordered life. How can we get it? ADD-friendly systems can help you. Try doing one load of laundry a day, for example. It’s much easier to put one dryer load of clothes away than 7 at one time. You can clean the same way. Do one chore each day, like sweep one day, dust the next. And leave the huge jobs, like window cleaning for somebody else. Pay them. It’s pretty inexpensive, and it’s better than never having it done at all. But if this system doesn’t fit with your ADD, try thinking of big jobs in chunks. Like, clean off the kitchen counter. Then, go to the refrigerator and throw old food that you don’t recognize away. Then, empty the trash. Then, worry about the kitchen table. Do things one area at a time. Maybe the best way for you will be doing the boring stuff 10 minutes at a time. Do some straightening or cleaning for 10 minutes and then, do something you like to do for 50 minutes. Then, start over again. You’ll be amazed at what you can get accomplished with this routine. Everyone with ADD has real approach-avoidance issues over doing boring things. We want a neat, organized place to live, but just can’t bring ourselves to do what we need to do to have things that way. Try one of these systems, one you think will fit in with your personal brand of ADD. If it doesn’t work well, try another. Nothing says that you can’t have things the way you want them to be. You just have to find a system that suits you.

If you are one of the millions of people who are experiencing a form of depression and anxieties you can use the power of the Law of Attraction and make it work for you. The Law of Attraction has already helped countless people with their depressions and anxieties. Simply put, the law of attraction states that like attracts like. This is a simple definition of what it means to use the law of attraction, and there are much deeper levels to it. But for now, you can understand the basic definition. How you feel on various levels inside of you affects what happens in your life. A good therapist no doubt can help you to feel better and to progress towards better mental health. Learning more about the Law of Attraction and how it works will help you to take some steps for yourself to better your condition. The Law of Attraction will attract into your life whatever you want. But there is a secret to this, you have to know how to use this universal power. Most people attract unconsciously things into their lives that they do not want.This often happens on an unconscious level. Here are some tips that will help increase the chances of getting and feeling better faster along with your therapy: 1. Try to eliminate negative information from your life. This means think about what you are listening too when watching TV, what kind of books are you reading, what kind of people are you talking to, what kind of magazines are you picking up? The information that you are taking in every day is still playing in your subconscious mind and can affect you. 2. Try meditation! Meditation helps you increase your mental powers and it helps you also to get to know yourself better. It helps you to connect with your subconscious mind. By quieting your mind and body for at least 20 to 30 minutes every day, you are able to get back to yourself again and figure out what it is you’re doing and what it is you’re wanting. 3. Treat yourself every once in a while to do something fun. Fun and laughter are good medicine for the entire mind and body. It does not have to cost a lot of money to spend a nice afternoon for, example at Barnes and Nobles reading a good book with positive information or taking a walk in the park. Or maybe you like to enjoy a good cup of coffee browsing the internet. Find something that you like to do, that you can do immediately that is fun for you. 4. Work with your subconscious mind by saying positive affirmations. You can reprogram your mind to think in a more positive way this in turn can help you with your depression and anxieties. You don’t have to have complex affirmations, just keep them simple and stay consistent. 5. Remember that what we are thinking is what we are creating in our lives. Most people are not aware of this fact. They believe that their lives depend on external forces. In reality we are creators and we create our own live experience. Knowing the Law of Attraction and how you can make it work for you will help you to speed up the process of getting well. It gives you the key to be able to take control over your live and get into the drivers seat. It may be difficult at first and you may not succeed over night but you will soon notice a difference in the way you feel.