All posts by man

How To Hypnotize – The Techniques

The induction is the process that helps people go into a state of hypnosis, where they will be more susceptible to suggestion, and where their unconscious mind will take messages onboard. People choose to go into this state because they want to achieve a certain change or improvement in a specific part of their lives, usually. How a hypnotist carries out an induction can vary greatly. Different techniques work well for different people. There can be hundreds or even thousand of induction scripts or approaches. In therapeutic hypnosis, known as hypnotherapy, we generally use a technique we call progressive relaxation. This means helping the person to become progressively more and more relaxed until they eventually fall into the state of hypnosis. It’s a gradual process, helped along by suggestions of continued relaxation. I’ll ask them to close their eyes, of course, and then ask them to start to take some nice long deep breaths. This really helps to relax people. One way that I find very effective in getting people to relax is to have them concentrate on different muscles, or different body parts. Obviously when you do this, you naturally become more relaxed. I like to start with their heads, face and neck muscles, and work my way down, along their entire body, focusing on one muscle or body part at a time, until they are completely relaxed, literally from head to toe. You could do it the other way around I suppose. I choose to work downward as it correlates with sinking deeper into total relaxation. We always refer to that process as going down, further down. So I just prefer to use the technique working downward. The hypnosis induction technique that most people would be familiar with is obviously what they’ve seen in stage hypnosis. That’s a very different approach from therapeutic, hypnotherapy inductions. In stage hypnosis they use a very authoritarian approach, very direct induction. They have to. They need to keep a crowd of several hundred people entertained, which necessitates impact. Plus there is a visual impact achieved when a hypnotist executes an induction, a very sharp, direct induction, and the subject falls to the floor or otherwise gives some defining visual signal that he’s hypnotized. The handshake induction is somewhat commonly recognized as well, but in reality, a stage hypnotist would not attempt this technique without first assuring himself that the subject is already hypnotized, or at least highly susceptible. In hypnotherapy we have no need to make a visual impression on an audience. The same is true of self hypnosis recordings. In self hypnosis recordings a laid back approach is used, composed of many different elements, and is usually based on the theory of progressive relaxation. It is highly effective. Try it for yourself!

Ten Ways To Live With Heart

To Live With Heart means living with feeling. Everyone has feelings. When we are aware of how we feel, we are in touch with a basic part of ourselves. Living with heart means we live with all our feelings, accepting all, even the painful ones. Many of us choose to accept the happy ones and deny those that don’t feel so good. Why do we do this? We would rather ignore them than face them. We don’t know how to handle them, how to express them or how to heal the pain. In reality feelings are a mysterious force in our lives when are not aware of them. I.M. Heart helps clear up the mystery so that feelings of pain can be healed and feelings of happiness and pleasure can flourish. Notice: Become aware of what you’re feeling. Observe and listen, without judgment, to feelings that are an everyday part of your life. From first waking up to when you put your head on the pillow at night you experience a constant flow of feelings – changing from minute to minute. We move through our days not being fully aware of feelings moving through us. Let them float through your awareness – just listen as they pass by. For many of us, this is a new experience. Noticing is the first step. If we don’t notice what we’re feeling – then the rest of these steps are meaningless. It’s like we are sleep walking through life – going through the motions of living without really fully experiencing either the joy or the sorrow of it. Life contains both and that’s what makes it so rich. Noticing is about change. When we are flying through life on the busy track there is little time to stop and evaluate feelings. For many, taking time to notice is something we avoid because we might find a feeling that is so strong that we cannot ignore it. A change might be necessary – a change of relationship, occupation, location, life style – and we may be reluctant to face such a change. If noticing is a new experience for you – start slow and easy, patient and kind – but begin to pay attention to what you’re feeling in your everyday world. Feel: Allow yourself to feel. I repeat – allow yourself to feel. Be honest about any joy, boredom, doubt, hope or excitement you may feel. Simply ask yourself, “How do I feel about this?” This can be a quick five-second check or if we have time we can take a few minutes to evaluate. If more time is needed, find a quiet place and let the feelings bubble to the surface, just to feel them. Once we decide to allow feelings to surface be aware that they can come bouncing out when we least expect. It’s as if the gates have been opened, feelings have been pinned in the corral for a long time and they are finally free — so out they come to play. Play with them, laugh with them, cry with them, be with them – they are part of you. When we know what we feel, then we can choose how we want to handle those feelings. If we don’t know, we are walking around in a blind spot to our future – just as there is a blind spot in the side mirror as we are driving down the highway. Understand: By honestly questioning of ourselves, we can come to understand the source or motivation behind our feelings. Compassionate understanding is a gigantic step to healing. Instead of beating up on yourself for being upset or sad, treat yourself like you would your best friend. Seek to question, listen and understand. Ask yourself about these feelings. “What am I feeling and why? Have I felt his way before? Does this pattern repeat itself? What am I afraid of? Why am I hiding from with these feelings? Why am I reluctant to be honest about how I feel?” In answering these questions, we begin to understand ourselves. Love yourself as you would your dearest friend and give to yourself the same caring consideration. When we understand the source of feelings, then we have the information to begin healing and to solve the mystery of feelings. Many of us are carrying around feelings that have been submerged for a very long time – from childhood, a lost friendship, or a perceived failure. We couldn’t or didn’t cope with those feelings at the time – and the fallout from those effects our view of the world today. Getting in touch with healing changes us, our view of the world, and how we interact with those around you. It’s like a brick – or maybe two – has been removed from our back. Accept: These are my feelings. They are not good or bad, right or wrong – they are a part of me. Some of them can be intense, some thrilling, and some very tranquil. Don’t judge them, but accept them as information about who I.M. By not judging them, we remove the stigma that it is not acceptable to have them and they become less of a huge, hairy monster to be feared. As a complex person, we can expect feelings to change moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. Accept, without judgment or criticism, this continuous flow of feeling. With this ebb and flow of feeling, we learn something new about ourselves and the world around us. Feelings give us valuable and important information. Heal: Feel it to heal it – so we can release it and let it go. There is no benefit for us to hang onto hurtful feelings from the past. These feelings are like dragging a bag of rocks, chunks of fear, from the past as we walk to the future. Rocks weigh us down and keep us from moving forward to take advantage of new opportunities and experiences. It’s ok to spend time feeling sad, frustrated or ashamed. Everyone feels these things. Sometimes we have hissed and spewed, kicked and bawled because these feelings were so intense. Sometimes we have stuffed them and decided we were even move unlovable. I.M. would advise you to spend time having a royal pity party – a timed pity party – and when the party is over – really let it go! Make a decision to heal it, instead of stuffing it! Instead of finding a benefit in hanging onto the bruised feeling, find a benefit to let it go. The relief and freedom that comes from releasing old hurts is amazing – a new person emerges. That person can be you. Love: I.M. a human being – not perfect — not supposed to be. I accept all my warts, freckles and blemishes as part of who I .M. Those are great, individual parts of the character that is me. I.M. the real deal and a very lovable, worthy person. Many times we are the least loving to ourselves. We can give to others, be patient and kind with them – but are very unforgiving of ourselves. Our expectations are unrealistic and when we don’t meet them, we beat ourselves up for failing. Let’s stop this, back off, and give ourselves credit for being who we are, at this time, in this place. Yes, we’ve made mistakes, and so has everyone else. So what? I.M. still a lovable, worthy individual with much love to give and much love to receive. I.M. healing the wounds of fear so that I can open to the healing grace of love. I.M. loving myself – just as I.M. right now! Fear: Feelings of fear can stop us. We are reluctant to start a new relationship, make a phone call, or enroll in a class. Something inside us tells us we cannot succeed, something bad will happen, or we will be embarrassed. The most personal fears are those related to how we feel about ourselves. We often think we are not a worthy, valuable, lovable human beings. These feelings, from the inside, influence our actions and choices on the outside. Instead of letting fear stop us – use it – to heal, to be brave enough to try something new even if we are afraid. Many times we will discover that the fear is bigger in our imagination than it is in reality. Taking a step – some kind of action – dissolves the fear and then we are free to take the next step. We are familiar with feelings of fear. We have all lived with those feelings. We are probably more familiar with feelings of fear than feelings of love. Fear can be a friend of foe. Make it your friend – use it to grow. Choose to Change: We can choose to change old patterns, by allowing ourselves to feel the full range of feelings, from joy to despair. This choice will change our actions and behaviors because we are learning about feelings, instead of avoiding them. Our choice to chan
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puts us in the process of learning more about ourselves. As we travel this path, let’s look for how we can change old limiting patterns, be aware of new emerging behaviors, and listen to what our feelings tell you about the different choices we are making. How do these new choices feel? How will this affect my life? What have I discovered about myself? These choices will take us forward into the future, Get Ready for the Ride: When we go to the ocean we watch waves crash to the shore, washing over the sandy beach. The waves are continuous, never ending, sometimes fierce and sometimes very gentle. They travel the huge ocean carrying various life forms and debris onto the sand. As the waves roll in and hit the sandy beach the sand shifts and settles back again, waiting for the next wave. It is very much this way with feelings. They may travel to our awareness from long ago and far away. When the wave of energy from this feeling hits our beach it shifts the sand of our life. Sometimes waves of feeling come fast and fierce, like in a hurricane. The torrents repeatedly batter us and we feel beat up and soaked. Once the storm passes and the sun comes out the waves are much gentler and calmer. When we make a commitment to heal bruised feelings, get ready for the ride. Our commitment will bring opportunity for both gale force winds and balmy seas. It is necessary for it to be that way. However staying the course means we can look forward to fewer hurricanes and more beautiful, sunny days at the beach. Enjoy the Rewards: Most of us function very well in the world we live in. Yet if you really talk to people, everyone is walking around with knots of feeling about events that have happened in their life. Although we are happy and successful, one has to wonder what we could do if we healed those knots. How are they stopping us from having a life that could bring us even more pleasure and abundance? Freedom comes from releasing fear-based feelings and finally accepting the many gifts coming from love. The goal is to love more and fear less. All feelings – hope, gratitude, compassion, enthusiasm, contentment, serenity — and — frustration, confusion, doubt, guilt, pessimism come from either love or fear. Truly releasing the fear based ones makes way to receive more of the blessings coming from love. Will you take these steps with me to open your heart to feel? Think of it this way – experiment with feeling. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain. Open up to part of yourself that you have never explored. This process of personal honesty will make you a different person. On that journey you will find many gifts. These gifts will enrich your life. You deserve to give these gifts to yourself. Blessings!

Top 7 New Years Resolutions

If you’re not sure what you should be putting on your New Years Resolutions list, here are the top 7 resolutions other people have used: 1. Spend More Time With Friends and Family It’s easy to get so busy with work that you neglect your friends and family. Before you know it, your friends have found new people to spend time with and your family have grown up. Plan to meet up with your friends on a regular basis, whether it’s for a meal or a movie. And make time to spend quality time with your family. You’ll thank yourself for it. 2. Get fit Face it, most people aren’t as fit as they were in their younger days. Getting fit doesn’t necessarily mean going to the gym 5 times a week. It could be as simple as parking further away in the parking lot, taking the stairs rather than the elevator and generally being less of a couch potato. You don’t need Arnold Schwarzenegger’s biceps to be fit… 3. Lose weight This often goes hand in hand with getting fit. Choose an eating plan (notice I didn’t say diet) that fits with your lifestyle. Then take the time to notice your food when you eat it rather than wolfing it down and paying no attention. Notice when you are full and stop eating, even if there’s still food left on your plate. Start listening to your whole body rather than just eating “because”. 4. Quit smoking A lot of people vow to quit smoking at the start of the New Year. Often they’re the same people you’ll see gasping for a cigarette a couple days later. Plan your quitting. Treat yourself to a hypnosis session or CD/book combination. Buy this for yourself as a Christmas present if you’re that organized. Then follow the program. It’s cheaper and more effective than patches or gum and doesn’t feed your body more nicotine. 5. Quit drinking In the same way as smoking, a lot of people decide to quit drinking when the New Year arrives. The thought of hangover-free days and a healthier liver is good. Again, there are plenty of self-help programs that will assist with your quest to give up alcohol. Search around and you’ll find one that works with you. 6. Get a better job Many people use the New Year as an excuse to change their jobs. Make sure you don’t leap from the frying pan into the fire by doing research on the new place you’re planning to work for. Read up on resume and CV writing to make sure that your application stands out from the crowd. Maybe use a hypnosis or subliminal program to boost your confidence and presentation skills. 7. Help other people This is a very popular New Years resolution. There are plenty of voluntary organizations that would appreciate some extra help and volunteering is easy. Check locally for a list of different charities and choose one that fits with your personal goals and aims. If you can’t commit regularly, don’t be afraid to say so. It’s better to say “I can only help once a month” than to say you’ll help every day or week and then not attend.

What's All The Fuss About 'The Secret'?

Here’s a definite sign that something has made it into the collective consciousness: Oprah features it on her show. If you’re at all inclined in this way, you’ve probably already seen ‘The Secret’. Here are my thoughts on this: I love ‘The Secret’. It’s absolutely phenomenal. I wholly recommend it if you haven’t seen it yet. It may just have an impact on your life. I believe completely in ‘The Law of Attraction’ and know that it is at work in my life and the lives of my students, my family, and everyone who has the inclination to pay attention to this. What is the Law of Attraction? Whatever you concentrate on, is what is drawn to you. If you focus on your lack of money and fret about your debt, you will get more ‘need’. However, if you concentrate on ‘attracting’ money, you become a money magnet. You attract more affluence. This isn’t just about money, but about absolutely everything in your life. Health and wellness, love, relationships, sex. . . as well as business, converting prospects to clients. . . Of course, there are naysayers–people, who in an attempt to make a name for themselves–have decided to tear down ‘The Secret’. What does this have to do with persuasion? And why would someone want to trash it? The Secret is certainly in the news and many people will use things in the news to piggyback. In fact, I love to use the piggybacking strategy myself when I get a chance. And I guess you have to take a stand one way or another on things, so this group of people chose to take a negative stand. If you’re like me, you probably don’t agree with everything you hear from any source. The next question I have is, do you agree with everything you’ve heard about ‘The Secret’? I, for one, do not. But let’s not throw the baby away with the bathwater. Just because there are a few things I don’t believe in, doesn’t mean there’s not a whole lot of value to be gained. It’s like taking the position. . . “Well, money can be used in a negative way so I don’t want to have anything to do with money.” If a person objects to positive mental thinking, positive mental attitudes, and the sage advice that has shaped our nation and most all of the successful people in the world today that have followed along the footsteps of great thinkers of our time, then I guess someone could genuinely be upset with ‘The Secret’. But what in particular did ‘The Secret’s’ detractors pick on? One thing is that ‘The Secret’ talks about our own personal responsibility and says that, “We all choose our own reality. Even the people of Darfur consciously chose their plight in life.” And to that, the people who were criticizing ‘The Secret’ responded, “That’s nonsense. ‘The Secret’ is a cult and it’s saying things that are blatantly untrue.” The frame the naysayers are putting on this is “cult”. I absolutely do not believe that the people of Darfur or people who suffer terribly wherever they are consciously chose to be where they are. In an attempt to entertain, ‘The Secret’ may have gone too far. When you consider it, however, many millions of people believe in something along those lines. And perhaps people who believe in reincarnation and karma would agree that we don’t consciously choose our lives, but have unconsciously chosen. And like the Buddhist traditions, I believe it’s possible that we’re here to learn and that life is a school. Not all lessons this school has to offer are pleasant ones. Through the perspective of reincarnation they might believe that we choose our parents, we choose the country we’re going to be born in, and we choose to live the lessons that earth has to give us such that one day we don’t need to come back anymore and we can evolve to a higher level. I’m not asking you to believe in reincarnation, but can you see that with this belief as the basis for the premise of ‘choosing’, then it might be reasonable for ‘The Secret’s’ makers to say something like, “The people in Africa who are starving have chose their plight in life so that they could experience these difficulties to learn how to overcome them or simply experience a life of poverty”? I think the answer is absolutely yes. They didn’t choose them consciously; they chose them before they came into this earthly experience. Why should we tear this theory down? I have my own beliefs and thoughts. I believe we need to be responsible. I believe we need to be careful, but to deny the value some people have derived, just to tear it down, I just can’t fathom.

Gulp! Get Off Your Butt This New Year

Every year we face challenges, ones that require us to step outside our comfort zone and brave the unknown. We feel the fear in the pit of our stomachs, yet deep down we know it’s time to meet the challenges head on. Perhaps you’re stuck in a rut and you want to change something in your career: learn a new skill, change roles, go part-time or put yourself up for promotion. Or you’ve had a life-changing event thrust upon you—an illness, divorce or a real knock to your confidence—and you’ve got no choice but to embrace it. Whatever challenge you’re facing this New Year, you always have a choice. Deal with it now? Or deny it …and deal with it later? The Gulp! philosophy is simple. Challenges are good. They force us outside our comfort zone. They give us a reason to stop and reflect upon what’s truly important. And they can become the catalyst for big shifts in our life opening us up to new possibilities. Here is my 7 day program to help you to face your fears and step up to the challenges in your life this year. DAY 1: DARE & DEFY The challenge is there, whether you like it or not. So what are you going to do about it? Face your challenge head on by writing it down and naming it. Set yourself a deadline for achieving it and make the pivotal decision to go for it. DAY 2: BREAKDOWN & BREAKTHROUGH The biggest thing holding you back is fear; fear of the unknown, fear of failure and the list of fears go on. Rather than tar the whole situation with the same brush, break it down and identify the specific fear trigger points. Put strategies in place to minimize these and then focus on the positive benefits rather than the negative possibilities. DAY 3: CENTER & CONNECT When you silence your mind and connect to your deeper wisdom, there is no fear. Here there is only what is aligned to your true essence and what feels right. Spend time centering yourself; meditating, taking walks in nature, doing yoga or simply breathing. Listen to what your wise inner sage has to say. DAY 4: IMAGINE & INVENT This challenge could be a catalyst for really great things to come. When you shut up the chit chat and fears that plague your mind, you create “space” for new ideas and insights to emerge.
DAY 5: PLAN & PREPARE Now it’s time to choose a course of action, put together a plan and start moving forward. The C.I.G.A.R. model is brilliant for this – Current Reality, Ideal Outcome, Gaps, Actions and Review. Make sure you keep your energy levels high with good food, plenty of water and fitful sleep. DAY 6: FOCUS & FLOW As you step forward and move into the “unknown,” let go of control and learn how to simply “be in the flow.” Let your intuition and instinct guide you. When you have to make a choice or a decision, tune in to the situation and listen to what your gut feelings says. As you know, it’s usually right! DAY 7 : GULP! & GO You’ve done the thinking and you’ve done the preparing. You’ve even built some foot bridges. Now it’s time to take that leap of faith. So tie up any loose ends and just Gulp! and go for it. You’ll find it a lot easier than you think! Finally, stepping up to challenges in our life can be the precursor to very powerful breakthroughs. If you’d like some extra support and inspiration to stay motivated and on track, why not sign up for my free downloadable One Big Gulp! Kit, which you will find at www.onebiggulp.com. Remember, it’s your life, your choice, so live your greatest life!