Dear Jane, How can I let go of resentment towards my mother for being thin and lose weight myself? I wanted to answer this question because, even if weight is not everyone’s issue, resentment and jealousy torture most of us at one time or another. Jealousy is an indicator that we believe someone else has something that we cannot attain. We may experience jealousy about someone’s looks, their financial status, their popularity/success, or their personal life. But it all comes down to the belief that we can’t have what they have. Why would we believe this unless we didn’t think we were equally deserving? So jealousy helps us recognize that we are feeling unworthy in some way. And unworthiness is the bottom line issue for almost all of us. The good news is that it’s curable. To heal it, we have to change the question from, “How do I get what so-and-so has?” to “How do I get that I am worthy?” What I talk about in my book, Enough Is Enough!, is that we won’t necessarily wake up one morning with a belief in our own worthiness. Like any other belief, it takes repetition and practice to “get it.” So how do you let go of resentment towards your mother for being thin and lose weight yourself? How do you get that you are worthy of having the body you desire? Before eating or before opportunities to exercise, you ask what I believe is the most healing question you can pose: “If I knew my worthiness in this moment, what would I do?” Whether we want to lose weight or experience more love, success, or happiness, I recommend asking yourself this question at least ten times a day every day. You will find that as your sense of self-worth grows, you will suffer less from jealousy and resentment.

It is a common knowledge that smoking is extremely dangerous to health. But did you know that aside from the usual lung and heart ailments developed from prolonged exposure to cigarette smoke, the addictive habit has also been found to pose adverse effects to the skin. Thus, many experts and dermatologists assert that quitting smoking is a good skin care measure. The skin is identified as the largest body organ because it serves as an outer covering of internal systems. It is a common misconception to take care of the skin only from the outside. Through the years, research efforts have established the clear relationship between overall skin health and the nutrients that comes from within. It is in this concept that the major adverse effects of smoking to skin health can be explicitly explained. The are simple explanations why you are advised to quit smoking to be able to attain good skin care. The first is that the nutrients found in tobacco cause constrictions at the outermost blood vessels, which are instrumental in feeding skin cells with the essential nutrients and oxygen. Thus, smoking is a major identified cause of skin wrinkling and sagging even prematurely. Smoking also has been found to deplete the skin’s elastin and collagen, which give strength and elasticity to the skin. Lack of oxygen supply results to severe skin discoloration. Because the skin is deprived of the normal and necessary levels of oxygen because of smoking, the area especially around the facial region tends to appear yellowish or sallow. Repeated exposure to heat and smoke coming from cigarettes also result to similar occurrences. There are about 4,000 identified chemicals and harmful substances found in each stick of cigarettes. Scientists assert that most of these are toxic and are proven to be highly irritants. On top of that, there are 40 carcinogenic substances included that lead to certain forms of skin cancer, specifically the very deadly Squamous Cell Carcinoma. This form of cancer could metastasize to prompt formation of cancer in other body parts. Aside from these identified internal effects of smoking to overall skin health, the movement of the lips done when puffing smoke from cigarette sticks has been found to form wrinkles around the mouth. That is because people tend to pucker when puffing and emitting smoke from lit cigarettes. The smoke also tends to form wrinkles around the eyes as people naturally tend to resort to the usual reflex of shrinking eyes when exposed to smoke. The best time to quit smoking is now. Researchers and experts assert that by dumping the addictive habit right away, you would be able to reverse the impact of the activity to your skin. Thus, quitting smoking is one of the best and most effective skin care regimen. For smokers, the attempt could be really hard and could be a major challenge. If you are just starting to form the habit, it would be better if you would drop it right away before you become addicted. Quit smoking and expect to have more beautiful and healthy skin.

Whenever you learn a new skill, you go through four stages of learning. Some people berate themselves if they don’t immediately master a new skill. They forget that there’s a normal progression involved. Keeping these stages in mind will help you avoid frustration as you progress along the path to mastery. The four stages are: • Unconscious incompetence • Conscious incompetence • Conscious competence • Unconscious competence The time it takes to progress through these stages may vary, but this progression is unavoidable. Here’s what each stage is about. Unconscious Incompetence At this stage, a person is incompetent at a skill but isn’t aware that they lack it because they don’t know it exists. They’re incompetent and unaware of it. This stage lasts as long as the person remains in the dark about other possibilities. As an example, imagine a child who had only seen shoes with Velcro closures. They are incompetent at tying shoelaces, but aren’t aware of it because they’re never seen them. When a person becomes aware of knowledge they lack, they enter the next phase. Conscious Incompetence Once the person knows they lack a skill, they are still incompetent at it. The difference is now they know. This creates the possibility of learning. The child has seen shoes with laces and realizes that they don’t know how to tie them. It’s at this stage that learning begins. Someone shows the child how to tie a shoelace and they begin practicing. At first they won’t be very good at it. They’re still incompetent – consciously incompetent. This phase lasts for a variable amount of time depending on the difficulty of the skill as well the abilities and diligence of the person learning it. More difficult skills take longer to acquire. A person with more talent finds progress easier. More practice results in more progress. The next stage slowly emerges. Conscious Competence Gradually, the student improves and eventually becomes competent at the task. However, at first performing competently requires their full attention. This is the stage of conscious competence. The child can tie their shoe quite well, but they need to focus to do it. Slowly, gradually the skill becomes easier to perform. It requires less intense focus. It flows more smoothly and automatically. Eventually, they arrive at the last stage… Unconscious Competence This is the phase of most adults with regards to tying shoelaces – they do it quite well without ever having to think about it. In this phase a person performs competently automatically. There are many skills we pick up and become unconsciously competent at. Anyone who’s learned to drive a standard transmission remembers their first lurching starts. Over time, that complex skill became automatic. Skills you work on now may be the same way. At first they’ll seem difficult. They’ll require your full attention. You won’t be very good at them. You’ll feel awkward. Remember that this phase is normal. Gradually and steadily you’ll improve. Before long what was a foreign skill will be second nature. Just like tying a shoe.

Amulets have been used throughout the ages to protect the holder from trouble. Talismans are objects that bring luck. Both have been around since the dawn of man. Literally. I don’t have proof, but I wholeheartedly believe that the first man ever saw a rock or shell and picked it up and thought to himself, ‘This is a special item which will bring me luck and protect me from evil.’ And as the thought escaped his mind, the little rock or shell became imbued with meaning. It might not have been special to anyone else in the world, but for him, it was filled with power. It is human nature to attach. We carry a baby blanket, hold on to keepsakes, believe rings symbolize love and/or commitment. When you think about us humans, it’s rather beautiful that we do this. We give inanimate objects significance and ask them to give us luck, love, wealth, protect us, connect us, and repel evil. Amulets or talismans can be anything-gems, coins, stones, shells, rings, symbols, statues and even drawings or words. I’m not asking you to worship false gods or believe in something esoteric. My intent behind this is to focus on affluence, your affluence. What symbol do you have on your body at this very moment that symbolizes your relationship and future with affluence? Maybe you carry around a large denomination bill. Perhaps it’s an expensive watch. It can be anything that really resonates with you. When you carry around something that embodies wealth, you are carrying the very process of persuasion. It can equate to you, in your other than conscious mind, as something with the capacity to improve your life and steer you toward a big goal. When I was a child, my father carried a cross pins around. I was so eager to have my own set when I grew up. At age sixteen I was given my own gold cross pins. This made me ecstatic and I felt I had really made it in life. I carried them everywhere. I loved them. My friends would tease me. They’d say, ‘Why are you wearing those?’ I would respond, ‘My dad gave them to me. I like them.’ Now I carry a one ounce gold coin and a one ounce silver coin. They’re not only religious in nature for me, but a very tangible symbol of wealth. I take time everyday to commune with the coins and express my gratitude that even in this economy, they’re increasing in value. I love that these coins are real and if I needed to cash them in today, I could. The other thing symbols do is give us grounding and reminding. Sticking your hand in your pocket and finding that gem or gold nugget will remind you of your relationship to affluence. Every time you look to see what time it is, that Rolex reminds you of your relationship to affluence. Every time you feel or see these objects, remind yourself, ‘I am a money magnet. I attract affluence on every level. I am grateful for what I have and for what will soon be mine.’ That’s awesome! A beautiful constant reminder to remain ever focused on your affluence.

The human body is in essence a body of light, which was created first by God’s divine intention which created the soul. The soul’s divine intention to enter the world of physical form created the passageway through which God’s light could manifest the miracle of conception and birth. All of life is a miracle, and each precious soul you encounter is living proof of God’s great love, which created the manifest and un-manifest universes. All possibilities and probabilities exist as One within God’s divine mind. Within the infinite realm of possibility, God’s light exists and actively participates within all of life. God’s light can be activated as a healing force within the human body, whenever you are sick or injured. God’s light can bring healing, comfort, and can even completely transform even an apparently hopeless situation. Light can expand and open possibilities, and can support all other healing modalities you are using. To activate the presence of God’s light within your body, it is helpful to create a sacred space within your home that can be used for meditation, prayer and healing. Create an altar that expresses your innermost hearts connection with the divine. Keep it simple, clean and place it in an area that can be devoted to sacred activities. Spend a few moments each day, or several times a day, quietly praying, meditating or sitting quietly at your altar. In time your altar will develop a vibration of light, and you will begin to feel this when you sit at the altar. The light will help you relax, and will aid you in your healing process. When your body is fatigued, sick, or injured, you can rejuvenate and regenerate your body by sitting or lying in front of your altar and breathing in God’s light. Place your hand over your heart and pray for healing, and then imagine God’s light descending from the heavens and infusing your body through the top of your head. As you breathe, allow the light to circulate through your body. You’ll notice certain parts of your body that will feel more tense, or that will be holding pain. Imagine the light deeply infusing these areas, bringing warms, comfort, and peace. The cells of your body know how to heal themselves, and God’s light will activate these inner resources of healing. As you do this regularly, you will begin to notice changes in your body and your health. The infusion of God’s light will begin a process of self healing within your body. Sometimes, if your body has been out of alignment for a very long time, the healing process takes longer because the body needs to re-balance itself on all levels. your body is not separate from your mind or emotions. In fact it could be said that your mind is your whole body! As God’s light begins this healing process in you, you will find old memories and emotions form the past re-surfacing. Allow these to pass through your consciousness. See them, feel them, and then let them go. At some point you may find it helpful to join with others who are in a healing process. If you have many challenges happening at once in your body, it will be helpful to work with a practitioner of healing arts who can act as a facilitator, helping to strengthen the light and support your body through the healing process.+ In times past, healing was thought of as something separate from everyday life. Now, as spiritual consciousness on the Earth evolves and transforms, it becomes more clear to us that all of life is a healing process. When our bodies are in need of healing, God’s light can provide stability, grounding in our primary reality as a soul, and a sense of peace, comfort and rejuvenation. God’s light can support us and enhance all other healing modalities and treatments, and is available freely to all beings, because God loves us and is always present and available to support our lives.