This is part 2 of a two-part series, and to save time and effort, we’ll take a moment to review the highlights of part 1. If you’re like me, and you feel compelled to read both parts, check the archives for “Notes From A Hypnotist: How To Repair A Broken New Year’s Resolution” by Wendy Lapidus-Saltz. Here are the highlights of part 1: There are essentially five reasons that most New Year’s resolutions come undone quickly. All have to do with how and why you made your resolution in the first place, and the level of support you’re getting from yourself and others in following through. The reasons are: 1. You made your resolution too complicated or severe 2. It’s all about what you won’t do (not over-drink, not overeat, not sit in front of the TV too much) instead of what you will do (eat perfect portions, emphasize healthy foods, exercises x times a week) —most people require both 3. Your resolution denies a need or desire without providing a beneficial substitution 4. You expect to feel deprived, and thereby pre-program yourself to feel that way 5. You set yourself up to get no support (or only negative support) from others Now let’s talk about how to succeed rather than fail in creating a great new year. Define What Success Is If you want to be in a fulfilling job this coming year, you need to define what that is for you. The more detail, the better. It’s okay to remove (thoughtfully) some of the requirements you set if they are unrealistic, but you do need a guideline for what you truly desire. Specificity rules! Choose Flexibility And Learn How To Create It There are areas in which you can be flexible. Inflexibility in these areas may guarantee failure, and keep you from stretching yourself. For some, being flexible is hard. Usually it gets down to fears. Fear that they can’t stretch or change, can’t learn new ways, and believe they require more routine, rigidness, and —– than is actually the case. At work, flexibility grants greater opportunity, opportunities to learn, stretch and enlarge talents. You are less likely to be labeled old, redundant, out-of-step, and non-adaptive, and more likely to be regarded as creative, innovative, and essential, and a useful team member or leader. Even if you feel scared to try learning new skills, you can decide you are putting yourself in training to flex more. Offer yourself up for new tasks, teams, and to cover new needs for which few have the training. You’ll keep yourself young, smart, and employed. In your personal life, especially in creating resolutions to go forward into the new year, and make it better than the old, flexibility allows…. Create Healthy Rewards For Successes The classic ways to change behavior are the carrot and the stick. The first rewards successes while the second punishes “failures.” A great many of us, when we are coaching ourselves rather than others, choose the stick as our sole behavior-change method. But most of us require encouragement or we’ll give up. Don’t be afraid to offer yourself a carrot, at least sometimes. It will make you feel good and enthusiastic about doing more. Do be sure the rewards are healthy. If your goal is weight loss, for instance, and you lose three pounds, don’t use a box of chocolate as the reward. Consider clothing that shows of your body, exercise gear that rewards your progress, or something that’s simply pleasurable: a massage, walk in the park, a new CD. Build Your Team You don’t need to go it alone. Find others serious about the same endeavor, and find out if they’d be willing to get together and offer mutual support. Or find supportive friends who are simply willing to call and check your progress and give you a big thumbs-up every so often. Do be sure they are your champions (“Keep going—you can do it!”) Keep Secrets From Nay Sayers The converse of supporters are those are motivation killers. They say things like“You don’t need to lose weight, you’re just fine” or “Why would you ever want to train for a marathon?” Some are far more subtle in their destructive work, so you need to be careful. They are likely jealous of your possible success and guilty about not doing it themselves. To them you are a symbol of their weakness, ineptitude or laziness, and an ongoing reminder that the feat can be done. And they themselves are not doing it. Keep your new activity secret from them, especially in the beginning, when your resolve is still vulnerable. However, if someone brings up a valid concern like “Is it safe to start a running program just two weeks after surgery?” simply take it as a hint to consult with your doctor, and thank him or her for caring. Emphasize Fun, Freedom, & Choice, Not Deprivation In many endeavors, your mindset in the strongest indicator of the potential for success. If you go into it with a sense of adventure and experimentation, willing to adjust along the way, you’re halfway there. The other half is choosing the endeavor rather than forcing yourself into it. Consider enticing yourself to do the necessary activities the way you might with a child who needs to clean his/her room. Or even a pet that is being taught a new trick. (Yes, I’m completely serious!) Paint a positive, alluring picture of the work that needs to be done. Especially the rewards, benefits and triumphs available upon completion. Handle the bumps along the way as learning opportunities and good material once you get to the top of your mountain. If it all happened perfectly and automatically what stories would there be to tell your grandchildren? ©2008 by Wendy Lapidus-Saltz. All rights reserved. Missed the Part 1 of this article? See Part 1, “Notes From A Hypnotist: How To Repair A Broken New Year’s Resolution.”

The New Year is here and millions of us will be sitting down and writing out our New Year’s Resolutions. And, you know the drill, within two weeks they will be forgotten as we get caught up in the daily grind of life. Our fresh enthusiasm for the New Year will be gone and long forgotten. Don’t let this happen to you! Instead, why not ditch your New Year’s Resolutions altogether and focus on just one big goal (or Gulp!)? Maybe it’s time to switch careers, or travel the world, or change something in your relationships. Whatever your goal is, don’t let it fizzle. Make it happen and stay on track by following this 7-day crash course designed to help you master fear and break through any challenge: STEP 1: DARE & DEFY Put a stake in the ground and commit to doing it. I call this Daring & Defying. Write down your One Big Gulp! on a post-it note and put it somewhere where you can see it every day. Tell your friends about and make sure you set a deadline (gulp!). STEP 2: BREAKDOWN & BREAKTHROUGH FEAR It’s natural to feel afraid because you’re stepping outside your comfort zone and into the void of the unknown. The thing with fear is it starts in the mind and is triggered by your thoughts and what you imagine might happen. So imagine the worst, and then put strategies in place to make sure it never happens. And then imagine the best possible outcome and focus on creating that. STEP 3: CENTER & CONNECT TO YOUR CORE When you calm your mind and create space and stillness, not only do you connect to your inner sage, that wise old voice within, it means you can actually hear it! When you do things that are aligned to your soul, there is no fear, there is just an inner knowingness of what feels right. So spend time walking in nature, listening to relaxing music, doing a Pilates class or meditating. And then listen closely to your inner wisdom. STEP 4: IMAGINE & INVENT NEW POSSIBILITIES Your sense of possibility is only limited by the extent of your imagination. So as you think about your One Big Gulp!, imagine all the possible outcomes or scenarios. Expand your vision of “what could be.”
STEP 5: PLAN & PREPARE YOUR PATH It’s time to chart your course. As soon as you step outside your comfort zone you step into the unknown—that gap or void between where you are and where you want to be. The secret to making your One Big Gulp! easy is to plug as much of this gap as possible. In other words do some research, gather information, ask questions, spend some time on Google, put together an action plan. And practice and rehearse as much as possible. STEP 6: FOCUS & FLOW From personal experience I know that when I’m doing something that makes my heart sing and my soul dance—everything just flows—if I let it. So stay focused on where you’re heading and use your intuition to guide you. Also, let go of anything that is part of the “old.” It can be hard to let go of things before the new has arrived, but as you know, sometimes you’ve got to close one door before you can open another. STEP 7: JUST GULP! AND GO FOR IT As you move through this journey, you’ll reach a point where you’ve just got to do it. The opportunity is there, you’re prepared and ready, and all you need to do is take that big step forward. For me last year, it was when I was sitting on the side of the boat and had a choice to get in the water or not. We all have a choice, so and take that leap of faith. You never know until you try and you never know where it all might lead next. Finally, take advantage of the new energy that comes at the start of a New Year and turn your ideas into reality. If you’d like some extra support and inspiration to stay motivated and on track, why not sign up for my free downloadable One Big Gulp! Kit, which you will find at http://www.onebiggulp.com. Remember, it’s your life, your choice, so live your greatest life!

Although the word “sleep” is often used in correlation with hypnosis and hypnotherapy, hypnosis is not a state of deep sleep. It does, however, induce a trance-like condition that actually increases the subject’s state of awareness in their own subconscious. Because the subconscious is under the mental surface and we are mostly unaware of it in our normal conscious state, the hypnotic state is necessary to gain access to it. A hypnotherapist, after the subject is in their hypnotic state, is able to suggest ideas to them as a form of therapy. These ideas are implanted deep into the psyche and can help with any number of issues. For example, while under hypnosis, a therapist may be able to suggest to you that cigarettes taste and smell awful, they make you sick and you want nothing to do with them. This is only a suggestion and may not work 100% the first time. Instead, the next time the subject picks up a cigarette, they may smoke it but will gain less enjoyment from it, hopefully leading them to eventually quit. Hypnosis is the act of hypnotizing a subject. The practice of healing or positive growth through hypnosis is known as hypnotherapy. This is the method most subjects seek out to help them stop smoking, lost weight, reduce anxiety, and so on. Hypnotherapy focuses on ‘reprogramming’ certain behavior patterns within the mind. This can enable you to conquer your fears, bad habits and negative thoughts toward yourself. Hypnotherapy can treat physical symptoms as well as mental ones. As the subject is placed under hypnosis, they are much more relaxed. This is more than a mental state, as the blood pressure and breathing will slow, releasing pressure on the heart and other organs. This is effective for pain management and often to promote physical healing after an injury or major surgery. Hypnotherapy is practiced on the principle that the mind and the body are one connected thing and that one can control the other. Hypnosis is effective as a treatment process chiefly because it allows the subject to shut down the “thinking” part of the brain. In other words, under hypnosis you do not think about the stresses of your everyday life or the logistics. The non-analytical side of the brain (our right hemisphere) is empowered and allowed to be affected and cause changes in the person. This may seem a little far-fetched for some, but millions of people around the world swear by these methods. Hypnotherapy can treat any number of disorders from bad habits such as smoking and overeating, to suppressed memories that inhibit you from carrying on successful relationships. It has been endorsed by medical professionals as an effective pain management technique and is often chosen over epidural’s during childbirth. However, none of these conditions can be treated effectively if the subject does not believe that they will. Because hypnosis is a science of the mind, it cannot be entered into involuntarily and must have your full cooperation in order to be effective.

You’re probably aware of hypnosis to stop smoking. Or for losing pounds. Maybe you’ve heard how hypnosis can help explore past lives, but there are some things hypnosis can help you do that might surprise or amaze you: 1. Locate lost objects. If you were the one who put it away, or you witnessed it being put away, hypnosis might help. Even if the incident was years ago. Try it and see what happens. 2. Enjoy foods you’ve avoided. Brussel sprouts are healthy, and whole-grain bread is better for you than white, nutritionists tell us. But what if you just don’t like the taste? A little hypnosis and you might change all that, though if your resistance persists, check for an allergy. Sometimes your body just “knows.” 3. End cravings. The reverse of #2, this helps you turn down brownies, stop uncontrolled shopping, or even give up the boyfriend who keeps doin’ ya wrong. 4. Enjoy public speaking. They call it a greater fear than death. Too bad. Being an effective speaker can boost your career in your company, your industry, and beyond. Once-reticent clients gasp at the changes in themselves—and the benefits they reap. If stopping smoking stops draining money, becoming a good speaker puts money in the bank. 5. Exercise longer, stronger and more efficiently. Hypnosis can help your turn distaste for working out into a craving. Ask yourself: “What would exercising give me? What would it make possible in my life?” A talented hypnotherapist spins a powerful motivational story for your subconscious, making it all so desirable that you can’t wait to shop for running shoes. 6. Attract your life partner. You think finding the person of your dreams is about mesmerizing her or her? Nope. Start with yourself. Hypnosis for confidence, sex appeal, or immediate rapport gives you a feeling you’ve never had before. And that sense of self is very appealing to others. Try it out. 7. Get more done in less time. It’s not all about organizing your files or upgrading your technology. Productivity, effectiveness, and enjoying what you do all start in the mind. And specifically, in your subconscious mind. Uh-huh. 8. Relieve an itch. Yeah, really. When is an itch not an itch? When it’s a habit. Keep scratching it and it feels itchier. And irritated. Irritated skin often itches (not to mention bleeds) so you’ve created a cycle. But you can tell your subconscious to disengage that phantom itching, allow your healing, and get back that healthy smoothness. Finding Your Hypnotherapist Once interested in hypnosis, people ask me how they can find a good hypnotist in their area. If you live in or near a metropolitan area, it shouldn’t be too difficult. But people trained in hypnosis can sometimes be found in rural areas too. You may see the title “certified hypnotherapist” or “certified hypnotist,” and more recently “consulting hypnotist.” Ask which organization(s) certified him or her. For hypnotists who are not licensed as psychotherapists or psychologists (and yet are extremely effective and trustworthy), the National Guild of Hypnotists is nationally known and deemed trustworthy. The American Board of Hypnotherapy is also a respected organization. When you call a hypnotherapist, found through referral or simply by Googling “hypnosis”, notice how comfortable you feel during the conversation. Great skills are crucial, but so is the rapport between you. If you want to test the waters, arrange for a single appointment, and then decide whether you want to continue. A hypnotherapeutic relationship can be ongoing, especially if there’s a coaching aspect to it, but it is often short term: one appointment, three appointments, perhaps six, depending on the issue or the habit you want to break—or create. In your phone conversation, you should be encouraged to ask all the questions you need to ask. As a consumer and potential client, you have that right. Two good questions are: “How long have you been in practice? And what are your specialties?? (Mine are smoking cessation and women’s issues including love and relationship.) You may also want to ask, “Do you work with ______(your issue)?” And “How often?” What Can Hypnosis Be Used For Hypnosis, in a clinical setting—as opposed to stage hypnosis for entertainment—is usually used to create or break habits. These are habits of thought or action. Grabbing the next potato chip, and the next, and the next, without even noticing you’re doing it, is a habit of action. But that action may have been due to a habit of thought. Perhaps you were focusing on a painful, sad, or angry thought or an unfulfilled desire and wanted to distract yourself. And you found that a tasty food could do that for you temporarily. A conscious motive? Maybe. But it’s often unconscious. You may not realize why you’re reaching for the chip. You’d probably say “I like the taste” or “I’m just hungry and I can’t take a break now.” Hypnosis is ideal for working for working with the subconscious mind. The Power of Self Hypnosis Self-hypnosis is an empowering tool because once you’ve tested the waters, you may want to continue the work on your own, with only occasional visits to the hypnotist of your choice for tougher issues or to upgrade your skills. Self-hypnosis allows you to work with yourself, whenever you choose, on simple things, reserving another office visit for times when you need an outside perspective or when self-hypnosis doesn’t seem to be working. Smoking cessation, initial weigh loss work, and relationship issues seem to work best with outside help, at least at first. But once you’ve sampled the powerful results of hypnosis, you might want to make it part of your life. So ask up front if your hypnotherapist teaches self-hypnosis. Many of us do. For example, I teach self-hypnosis one-on-one, in a group workshop, or with a CD I have created for that purpose. When choosing your practitioner, find out what choices she offers. Hypnotherapy is not psychotherapy If you suspect you need psychotherapy, don’t expect the “certified hypnotherapist” or hypnotist to do that. She is not licensed for that work. Instead, either look for a psychotherapist who is also trained in hypnosis and uses it commonly in her practice, or go to two different people. In my practice, I have relationships with many psychotherapists. When the situation calls for both skills, we share a client, and with her expressed written permission, we exchange progress reports to maximize the impact of our work to benefit that client. Generally I see the client a specified number of times, while the psychotherapist’s care is ongoing. Clients generally say the combination made a difference in speed, effectiveness, and enjoyment. Hypnosis is pleasant The process of being hypnotized is usually a pleasant one. So many of my clients have described as a “mental massage,” that I now teach a corporate workshop called That Marvelous Mental Massage.™ Clients often say they feel healthier, more alive and committed to their lives after walking out of a session. They can’t believe they could alter their minds to be so rested and optimistic, after merely sitting on a sofa for an hour, listening to someone say some words to them. If you have an issue you think can be addressed by hypnosis, call some practitioners near you, describe the issue, what you’d like to have happen, and sample this ancient art and science for what it can do for you.

Sometimes there’s a habit that has been so damaging, so annoying, or frankly, so unsavory that we simply need to cut it out of our lives. Like mold on cheese. Other times we’re not ready, or able, to slice it off completely. Or maybe it has been with us so long, it’s just hard to imagine life without it. And there are certain habits that are useful once in a blue moon, for particular situations, and we need to have them available on an as-needed basis, though not all the time. You’ll understand what I mean in a moment, and you might be able to identify a few of your own that fall into this category. For example, the husband of a client needed to step away from the habit of zoning out when someone was talking to him, particularly his wife. He came to me for hypnosis to help him stay present, conscious and engaged. Fair enough. We were set to begin the induction (the stage when the hypnotist/hypnotherapist leads the client into the hypnotic state), when he suddenly stopped the process. “Wait! I need to be able to zone out once in a while,” he said, “Is that do-able? Because when my uncle starts giving me statistics on all his favorite baseball players….” So we did hypnosis to make “zoning out” a choice rather than something that just “happened” to him and was beyond his control. It worked perfectly. The incident made me realize that we all need to know we have choices. We don’t need to go all the way in everything we do. *We don’t have to like all our relatives, we can like some more than others, and spend less time with those who chew our ear off with tales of their brilliant dog. Or toddler. *We don’t have to become the top salesperson in the company by next month. We can work to increase our quota by, say, 5-10% next month and 15% the following month. And so on. Even the smallest increase can add to our confidence and build momentum. *We don’t have to be married by next year. It’s okay to just start dating and see where it gets us. And who it gets us. *We don’t have to eliminate all sugar (unless a doctor instructs us to), we can eat less of it. Same for fat, caffeine, etc. “Putting the brakes” on certain negative habits without completely eliminating them may bring satisfaction and improved health with less pain. It may become easier to let go of a habit if we simply don’t tell ourselves “You can never, ever have/do/be this ever again!” Certainly, dropping the number of times you partake in a negative habit, per day or per week, is better than not decreasing it at all. Nicotine is a little different. For most people, cutting back on smoking little-by-little doesn’t work as well as complete elimination. Unfortunately, but the secrets of smoking cessation is another article, for another time. Which habits of yours would you like to eliminate? (Write your answers down for best results.) And which of these would be more comfortably eliminated bit-by-bit and which in one gigantic swoop? (Write.) Which habits would you like to create or reinstate in your life? (Write.) Which of these should be introduced into your routine little by little? And which enforced frequently? (Write.) Note: for some people, creating or starting a habit gradually works best, while a harmful habit is best eliminated in one cut. For others, the process varies. On a personal note, I eliminated artificial sweeteners in one day because I needed to cut out the craving for that particular taste. But bringing exercise back into my life was on a one-day-at-a-time basis and is still ongoing. Check how it works best for you. But whether you break or brake your habit, know that every useful and positive change you make in your life creates a flow of more useful and positive changes. Enjoy the process along with the rewards. ©2007 by Wendy Lapidus-Saltz. All rights reserved.