Being able to manage your anger is an important life skill. Everyone has anger, it’s a normal emotion, and, like all emotions it’s there to give us information. But how you respond to anger is the difference between living a good life and “A nudge from the judge.” There are all sorts of things that trigger our anger during a day – snarled traffic, a boss in a bad mood, an assistant who doesn’t do what they’re supposed to do, a difficult colleague, kids who won’t get ready for school on time, even a headache or an overheated room. You can see how anger gives us information. For instance if you’re getting heated up because the room temperature is too hot, or its too stuffy, then you know there’s a problem that hopefully you can address. Getting some air in the room, lowering the temperature in the room, moving to another room, or taking off your jacket are some constructive ways to deal with this information. Lashing out at a colleague or making a poor decision because you can’t think straight are not good ways of dealing with this. The problem, though, is how to calm down enough to think straight. We tend to get the most feelings of anger with loved ones. It’s ironic, isn’t it. But who do we care more about? And the outcomes are so important. If your partner has done something that makes you angry, it matters more than the traffic jam or the secretary, simply because we care more about the outcome, so our rheostat is set higher. Also some people just have an anger rheostat that is set higher. If you’re the kind that gets angry easily, you know this. Some people are just more laid back about things. Learning how to manage your anger is an important lifeskill and is part of what we call emotional intelligence. There are other emotions, after all, that can cloud our thinking, cause us to self-sabotage, or harm others or ourselves. It all falls under the category of managing emotions intelligently. If you’d like to learn more about managing anger, why not consider getting the full-meal-deal and learn about emotions in general – where they come from, why they happen, what they are useful for, and how to respond, not react. The strongest emotions (like anger) are the ones where we tend to have a knee-jerk reaction. We think we have no choice in what we do about them, and then we get in trouble. We can harm ourselves, others, or our important relationships. If your boss insults you, there are really all sorts of options. You don’t have to lash out and jeopardize your job, or walk out and quit. You may WANT to do this, but it doesn’t mean you HAVE to. Other things you can do, if you can calm your anger, are: cut the boss some slack because you know he’s having a hard day; take a break and think it through; consider whether there are many good things about your paycheck, so don’t quit; talk it out with your boss at a quiet time; take a time out and come back when you’re in a better frame of mind; keep quiet until you’re under control; or call a coach and vent. Emotional intelligence and anger management are all about choices, and making a better life for yourself and those around you. The more options you can find in a situation, the better off you are going to be, and in order to do this you have to understand anger, and understand that you have choices, and what they are. It’s like having new tools, and more tools to do the job. When anger happens and you act like you’re a robot, with only one thing to do, you are very predictable to others. That’s also to your disadvantage. It’s well known in the work world, like with negotiations or in depositions, that if you can make the other person angry, you have “won.” Why would you want to be a victim to your own anger? If you have trigger-anger, always reacting to the same thing, people around you pick up on this and can use it to their advantage, and to your disadvantage. Unfortunately this is a fact of life and it happens. You can learn how to manufacture more options for yourself and quit “losing” – your temper, your advantage, your job, and important relationships. The most important thing about emotional intelligence is that it can be learned! Why wait?

Everyone has probably observed others who seem to skim over a page quickly as they read. People naturally read at different rates, but there are some people who have learned to speed reading. These people also read at different rates but those people with speed reading skills all read faster than most people. Speed reading can be done by learning specific strategies for reading through material quickly and comprehending the material. Turning and skimming pages quickly is not much use if the reader does not remember or comprehend what they have read. People who would like to read and comprehend more quickly should enroll in a speed reading class in order to acquire skills that will help them read faster and better. Speed reading courses usually provide the students with several strategies and techniques to read and comprehend more quickly. Students who enroll in a speed reading course should learn these strategies to improve their reading rate. Once students learn these strategies in a course, they will find many benefits. All of their reading assignments or duties will take far less time. Students will be able to finish all of their reading requirements and have lots of extra time for the fun activities of college life. Business people will be able to study reports and other papers and have more time for family and fun. Students, business people and others who use speed reading strategies save time but they also comprehend the material that they cover. Courses often teach people to use techniques that are different from the techniques that they used to learn to read in elementary school. Most people initially learn to read in a linear fashion. Speed reading courses often teach people to read the words in other patterns than the ones first learned in school. The courses usually train students to avoid reading each individual word. A good course in speed reading will change some of the habits that people have acquired in their traditional education. The course will also provide students with advice that will help them become better readers. Distractions can interfere with reading comprehension and many instructors in a course will advise students to eliminate the distractions in order to achieve better reading comprehension. The speed reading instructors often suggest ways that students should prepare for reading tasks before they read the first word. There are many strategies that people can use to become better readers and many are most pleased when they learn the strategies that help them.

ADD people are bored very easily, as you well know if you have ADD. People call us lazy, but it’s not that. We’ll put tremendous effort into things that matter to us, and that we enjoy. But how exciting is washing dishes or cleaning up a mess of stuff? Not very and it just doesn’t happen. We learn to live with our messes. Am I right? The dishes could be overflowing the sink, and the dust in the house might be forming little clumps that are starting to resemble small animals. They’re scaring your cat. Oh, and then, there’s the floor, littered with all matter of elements–rock, paper, hedge clippers, whatever. It’s just a mess! And you look at that stuff, and say to yourself, “I’ll get to that later,” and you never do. Your ADD never allows it. Nobody has to live that way, of course. And you can’t allow it to go on indefinitely or the health department will come by and tack a “condemned” sign on your door. The stuff has to be done, no matter how much your ADD brain doesn’t want to do it. But there’s a way to do it painlessly. And it’s so simple that you’ll laugh when you read it, but it works. Really. Here’s what you can do… Maybe you’re going to pick up that stuff on the floor and actually put the hedge clippers in the garage. You really didn’t need them to open that wireless mouse package, but they make it so hard! Well, OK… Get out your iPod or your CD player or turn on the Sirius, whatever, and then, crank it up. Really hear it. Then, get your nose involved. Light some incense or a scented candle that you like. And now, your sense of taste. Try some sugarless gum or hard candy while you’re cleaning up. Your eyes and hands are already involved, so that will have all your senses involved and your ADD brain is less likely to balk. You can get some added benefit by wearing something you like. What do you enjoy doing when you aren’t working? Whatever that is, if it’s playing football, put on the gear while you’re straightening up around the house. You’ll be amazed at how well this stuff works. And you’re set. You’ll be dancing around, smelling good smells instead of last week’s laundry, wearing something that makes you feel good, and just generally getting things done. ADD brains do get bored pretty easily, so it’s important to keep it occupied. If you get really good at this, you might start to enjoy the chores you hate to do. You never know… ADD brains just need to be involved all the time. Give every sense something to do and your place will be clean and orderly. Or, if this doesn’t work… hire someone to do these things for you, if you can afford it. One way or another, the stuff has to be done. Make it as easy for yourself as possible.

Are you a man looking for a fashion statement without going for the overdrive? You can be discreet but upbeat with pocket watches. The women will find you intriguing and very macho each time you fish out your small gold timepiece from your vest pocket. Macho Fashion Sense Pocket watches were invented back in the 1500s; these were cumbersome pieces and had to be worn like a necklace. Somebody came up with a better idea and invented gold chains or fobs to be attached to the watch. At that time, wristwatches were deemed feminine so these pocket timepieces were the rage in men’s accessories. These pocket watches were crafted in gold, silver, and platinum and adorned with sapphires, emeralds, and rubies. During this era, gentlemen from wealthy families owned these traditional time pieces that reflected their clout and power. These were valued family heirlooms, passed from the fathers to their eldest sons. Fortunately, in this generation, the average Joe can buy himself a pocket watch to show he’s got the fashion flair and the savvy. It’s also no longer necessary to flex his muscles or show off that he’s got what it takes to be a hunk. Decked in his finery, there would be no opportunity to do that. His option is to try those pocket watches to match the ambience. Just imagine Brad Pitt in a smashing suit flicking a gold pocket watch open. That will send the girls drooling. You don’t have to be a Brad Pitt to catch the girls’ interest. Women, who know the value of these watches, will eye you with interest, whether you have one of those open-faced or hunter case time pieces. Be a Wyatt Earp with your new dashing pocket timepiece. The Different Types of Pocket Watches If you’re shopping for dressy or simple pocket watches, you can find several styles online. There are different designs for different occasions. If you’re into sports, try the CX Gear Digital and Analog pocket watches with built-in compass, thermometer, and flashlight. For a party animal, the CX gear stainless steel, fold-out stand with a bottle opener and screwdriver is just perfect and classy too; for the man who loves the outdoors, the rugged good looks of the CX Gear Luminiscent Hand and Numbers pocket watch should be his companion. For dressy events, there are the silver and gold pocket watches in various designs to choose from. These may or may not come with a 12″ chain. The casual look for everyday use are also crafted in gold and platinum. Even Harry Potter fans can have their own pocket watches. Collector’s Treasures For collectors, there are more choices with the emergence of non-traditional designs. Or if they want the traditional style, they should watch out for blogs announcing auctions of antique watches of all makes. Flea markets also produce a gem or two of old watches. If you’re thinking of showing up in the next party, dare to be a class apart with a gold or silver pocket watch. You’ll have the crowd buzzing and asking you how you got a stunning showpiece. Or re-establish a tradition in your family. Get one of those pocket watches you can proudly pass on to your eldest son. He’ll be proud to wear it like a true hunk.

Do you have trouble sticking up for yourself? Do you feel pushed around or walked over? Do you find it difficult to say no to others. Do you do things which you did not want to do? Here are a few things you can practice to make things better. Sometimes it is tough to let go of a relationship, but you should keep only relationships that are on equal ground and give up the rest. Do you call your friend or go see them, but they never call you? Are you always there for them, but if you ask for help they never do? Are you routinely giving above and beyond at work because they’ve come to expect it? Do you have anyone in your life that simply drains you? If they are not an elderly parent or a child that you care for, then it is the right thing to do to give up unequal relationships and move on. It will help both of you. This is very important. When someone picks on you, tell them to stop it. Constructive criticism should be just that: helpful and constructive. If the criticism makes you feel bad and it continues, tell them to cut it out or just walk away from them when they are doing it. Some people have a terrible habit of criticizing others and making them feel bad. You should not put up with this kind of treatment because it will tear you down and lets them continue behaving badly. It doesn’t do any good to argue with them. The way to make it stop is to just tell them that’s enough and if they do not stop immediately, walk away. That sends the message that you won’t put up with it and you should do that every time. Learn to say no. Many people find themselves agreeing to do things they do not wish to do. Saying no gets easier with practice. Start with the easier situations, keep it simple, and just say something like, “No, I can’t today!” It helps to quickly change the subject and keep talking. You do not even have to offer a reason. Learn to say yes to things you want to bring into your life and stop asking for permission to do things. The only times you should ask for permission are when you are doing so out of courtesy, because you are using something of theirs or some similar situation. You are a free person and should treat yourself that way. If you want to go back to college, go to college. If you want to go see a friend, see your friend. Let people know what you are doing out of courtesy, but unless you are sharing money, you do not need permission. Speaking up in general will also help you to feel like you are sticking up for yourself. You can express your opinions and feelings, and you will feel better if you do. Try taking some of these tips seriously and bring a new change in your personal and professional life.